The Silence of my Gravitational Pull

If you are wondering about my weight loss, then much like myself, you have too much time on your hands. I have nothing new to report, because I broke the scale. That’s right—ha, ha…laugh it up. If that doesn’t put a chink in your slimming-down armor, I don’t know what does. So, I stepped on the damn scale, it wrenched, it creaked and then with a shattering crackle- pop, the bloody thing crashed flat onto the tiles. The display immediately read: ERR. So, I guess that is my new weight, ERR. I can live with that (at least for a few days). It is likely a sign from the universe that I have been too preoccupied with the numbers. My current mass is neither accessible nor measurable. Super.

Honestly, I like the idea of ERR, it is a subtle, almost humorous commentary. Not really chaos or mania or irreversible damage, just a simple unit of incompleteness. Much like me. I think, I will see what happens when I enter it into my online weight tracker.


An additional cautionary tale:
Lauren, my sister, got scratched in the eye by her cat! Ouch!?! Are you kidding me? How utterly miserable. And I thought I had it bad with a little scrape on my eyeball. I can’t even imagine. She had to go to the hospital and get shots, the whole nasty bit.

Please consider this a warning: Wear safety goggles for all handling of felines and females, both big and small. No matter how dorky you look. It is better than wearing a pirate patch.